He gives these examples to illustrate how to counter problems and people suffering from miscommunication. Defensive behavior is the fuel that keeps the fire burning.
If I dont accept this, I will never be an effective communicator, or any type of counselor for that matter.
Peterson takes the reader on a journey to show that the art of listening involves more than hearing. After the talker finishes the card is turned around to give the other an opportunity to talk while the other side or person listens. He has a temper and has to work hard at controlling it, which leads me to believe I have more control over the outcome if I put the effort into it.
Honestly, what bothers me the most about this book is the level of responsibility it expects me to take. Why don't we listen better?The author is a seasoned Christian counselor and utilizes very practical information and methods to become a better listener, as well as a talker. I will train my emotions to be still until I have gathered all the information and am able to release them with clarity and intention. Using the hem and haw method may prevent me from defending myself, helping me to keep my mouth shut. The concept of decoding that Peterson talks about is one that I have to work at Due to the fact that my husband and I both feel misunderstood by each other, it would be important for me to use some of Petersen's basic listening techniques. Petersen then explores the integration of the talker-listener methodology with group facilitation and concludes with a final section on basic philosophical precepts. Once I have learned this method I will be able to share it with others who find themselves hurling harmful, hurtful, and hideous words at a love one. The TLC can add objectivity in group discussions, when moderating two-party conversations, and with couples Petersen, He would often take what I said as an attack and would defend himself.
He also discusses how to apply the techniques in group settings and how to use it in the moderating of two others in conversation. I guess it has to do with having an identical twin brother, always trying to outdo him.It helps one to see areas that in these roles need to be worked on by individuals so that they can become better talkers and listeners. For example, Petersen appropriately suggests not defending oneself when criticized, but an explanation regarding how to eliminate defensiveness is absent My Summary Petersen, James C. One of the foundational circles deals with how one thinks and the emotions that one has. The heart is when we give and receive concerns, suggestions, and support; while at the same time staying open to consider other options. One of the areas that I need to incorporate first is my ability to repeat accurately what the other person is trying to convey and be less domineering. Petersen then defines the Flat-Brain Syndrome as a contorted relationship of the triad In many cases we would agree on the topic but purposefully chose opposite sides just to see if we could argue the points successfully. Readers say that Gawande does demand a lot from people and the book is eye opening but it does not have a guide to having a better end in life. In a counseling situation, I would continue to stay consistent with the TLC method for the listener.
Although the book is a bit insightful, it is quite enjoyable to read. The author is a seasoned Christian counselor and utilizes very practical information and methods to become a better listener, as well as a talker.